The Next Mountain to Climb

Released from every earthly burden, I fully expect this fierce, beautiful soul to roam freely—touching the peaks of the Himalayas, the jagged cliffs of the Andes, and every corner of the world we had not yet reached. Her final gift—the most peaceful, gentle passing, holding my hand and the hand of her lifelong friend, with family by her side—will be cherished always. At 9:09 p.m. PST, on December 30, 2025, Kristi slipped quietly into the next world, ready to continue her explorations with boundless joy.

It is still implausible to me that less than a week ago we were wrapping up a 24-day vacation of vacations. After Kristi’s October surgery we worried that we might not even make the trip. But we did and it was incredible — yes, we took it slower than in the past, but we had no problems.   In hindsight it must have been Kristi’s sheer willpower that kept her going despite the disease beginning to overwhelm her body. It was only after the release of being home — just 18 hours after we got home — that she allowed herself to feel the burden.  I’m not known for making the most responsible financial decisions. For this trip I had the opportunity to upgrade our flight to Paris to first-class, something we’d never done — I surprised Kristi with the news the day before we left. While I felt guilty about spending the extra money, again, in hindsight, I’m so glad Kristi was able to fly to Europe in such comfort.  Kristi has rested comfortably all day today. She is mostly unresponsiv...

Just four weeks ago Kristi walked a one-mile length of the Champs-Elysees This was just last week, Dec 23 — the last day of our trip, enjoying the coldest coconut water possible. Kristi seems to be resting very comfortably today — ever so slightly continuing a transition towards a time with no suffering.  Yesterday and this morning have been incredibly beautiful — yes, extremely difficult — and, incredibly beautiful. It is truly amazing to see someone who has lived so selflessly, receive the love and honor that she deserves.  As I sat in the quiet of this morning, the stillness permeated only by her gentle snoring, I thought about the amount of joy, heartache, struggle, and blessing that we have shared together and with so many. These words easily flowed and capture what is swirling around in my head.  As one life slowly fades, New life springs forth.  Even as one quietly rests, The young cannot contain their joy.  As we grieve, we rejoice in shared experiences....

Kristi’s pain is more under control than it was yesterday. A nurse spent a couple hours with us last night working on adjusting her meds. I use ChatGPT to understand complex medical uses and brainstorm what to ask drs and nurses. I asked it to help summarize Kristi’s current condition in order to accurately share with you all. This is the summary: “ Kristi  is likely in an advanced stage of her illness. Her cancer has progressed to the point where her body is slowing down and using most of its energy just to stay comfortable. Right now: Her pain is better controlled She is very weak and tired She is not eating and drinking much, which is expected She is talking very little, but she can still understand us and respond by squeezing a hand Her body is beginning to slow down normal functions, like urinating She is not in an emergency at this moment, but she is declining, and this phase usually means time is becoming more limited.” ********** I’m not suggesting that you should, but if y...

Merry Christmas and Happy new year to you all! Kristi and I were able to take a recent cruise vacation together, and overall it was an incredible trip — eight total countries, five of which were new to us. Aside from the pain Kristi has been living with and managing for some time, she did quite well on the trip. She had moments of energy, enjoyed the scenery and food, and was able to be present and engaged. We explored, played cards, ate great food, and simply enjoyed being away from appointments and daily routines for a while. We are very grateful we were able to make those memories together. We returned home on December 24 — we had a nice Christmas Eve with most of our family. On Christmas Day, Kristi’s condition changed VERY suddenly and dramatically. She spent the entire day in bed feeling unwell, which was a sharp contrast to how she had been just the day before. Later that day, she developed a low-grade fever. Given how quickly and significantly her condition shifted, we decided ...