Keeping it Real

Hope and reality are not mutually exclusive. I think we live in a world where people may sometimes not want to face reality and sometimes don’t have any hope. I find great comfort in embracing both. Many things give me HOPE — God, my family, my friends, the mountains (especially Switzerland), and many more.  The REALITY is that my time on earth is much more limited than I had ever hoped it would be at 52 years old. 


Swiss Alps, 2005

You’ve heard us praise Stanford, their care is top notch. As a cancer patient with a terminal illness, they provide so much more than medical care for me. I have regular appointments with social workers who help me (us) through this difficult journey. Our most recent was Monday morning. Their caring guidance is the impetus for this post. 

LMS is NOT curable. Statistically speaking, just 14% of people live 5 years after a stage 4 diagnosis.  I have metastases to my lungs, skin in multiple areas, lymph nodes, and sinuses, that we know of now.  And, the original tumor site is regrowing.  Except for the crazy back pain and fatigue (probably from the chemo), I am doing pretty well on a daily basis — I’m NOT signing off with this post or anytime relatively soon. 

This all may sound very gloomy, but the actual message is really wonderful. By coming to terms with my situation, I am and will be so much better at living in the moment each day. By no means am I happy about getting this shitty disease, but I am not going to waste what I have left — be it a year or years — on being miserable. I have so much to be thankful for and I’m going to savor everything, everyday. 

Current and future goals of treatment are to hold off disease progression for as long as possible.  I hope for many more hikes, many more romps in the living room with grandchildren, many more family game nights, and many more adventures. I will take advantage of every opportunity I get to live and enjoy life. 

And … there will eventually come a time when the benefits of treatment no longer out-weigh the side effects. At that point I will neither give up hope or give up on life, but continue to be thankful and live every moment as if it were my last … as I hope each and every one of you do too, every day. 

Comments

  1. AliciaOctober 18, 2023 at 10:02 AM

    Love you so much Kristi 💗

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    Replies
    1. AnonymousOctober 18, 2023 at 4:58 PM

      Kristi, you are so amazing!! My prayers are with you everyday🙏❤️

      Delete
  2. AnonymousOctober 18, 2023 at 10:02 AM

    You are brave and beautiful! Yes, to squeezing out every ounce of Joy, Fun and Fabulousness Right Now! ❤️

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  3. Chelsea AlestonOctober 18, 2023 at 10:08 AM

    We all love you, Kristi. You are an amazing person and an inspiration.

    ReplyDelete
  4. BrandonOctober 18, 2023 at 10:11 AM

    I love you Kristi! You truly are inspirational!! You’re a blessing to me, as my sister and my friend, there is no one that I know that could ever match that.

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  5. AnonymousOctober 18, 2023 at 10:12 AM

    You just blessed me tremendously 🥰🥰. You are a warrior 👏👏. You’ve chosen joy. We will continue praying for you and Jim . God is walking with you in this battle. God bless and keep you in His perfect peace. May His face shine upon you and give you rest. Love you 🌷🌷

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  6. Karen HatfieldOctober 18, 2023 at 10:19 AM

    We continue to pray for you and your family. The hope and faith you have is beautiful to see.

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  7. AnonymousOctober 18, 2023 at 10:24 AM

    I have always loved & enjoyed you! You know that. But I am so stinkin proud of you and your fight. this mind dump shows such a beautiful spirit of love & hope. Hope we can spend time together again before heaven.
    I think of you all so fondly!,
    Dee

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  8. AnonymousOctober 18, 2023 at 10:25 AM

    Although this post brought me to tears ~ you are truly an inspiration to so many others!! Keep being yourself and enjoying life as you know how and I will truly take this to heart and continue to do the same because tomorrow is never promised for any of us❤❤

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  9. AnonymousOctober 18, 2023 at 10:27 AM

    Your bravery in living as normal a life as possible, while fighting this terrible disease is so inspiring to me, and I'm sure others. My prayers continue for you, Jim and the entire family. 🙏
    Sandi N

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  10. AnonymousOctober 18, 2023 at 10:30 AM

    ❤️🙏🏻✝️

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  11. AnonymousOctober 18, 2023 at 10:40 AM

    You are so loved Kristi. You are my inspiration. Prayers will never stop.

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  12. AnonymousOctober 18, 2023 at 11:39 AM

    You are so loved my friend!! God is guiding you everyday. You are strong, beautiful, and blessed!!

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  13. AnonymousOctober 18, 2023 at 11:41 AM

    Love you, Kristi! Your attitude and approach are a LIGHT of hope. I said almost the same sentence yesterday when talking about cancer with a student that just because the reality is crappy, there is always hope!

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  14. Karen ElliottOctober 18, 2023 at 12:11 PM

    Your attitude is how we should all be living our lives, whether we're living with a disease or not. Continued blessings and prayers for you and your loved ones. 🤗❤️🙏

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  15. AnonymousOctober 18, 2023 at 12:16 PM

    Although your post has brought me to tears I am so inspired by your resilience and will to enjoy each and every moment you have. I love the hope and courage you have always shown throughout. I love you and yours, God bless you all. Daily prayers as always 🙏. Love, Aunt Mary

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  16. AnonymousOctober 18, 2023 at 2:23 PM

    Thank you for this reminder that we all need to hear. None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow Your example of spirit, strength, and positivity is beautiful, Kristi! So many prayers, along with much love and gratitude for you!! 💗

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  17. AnonymousOctober 18, 2023 at 2:43 PM

    Kristi and Jim, your strength and belief in our Lord is such a beautiful reminder of how we need to lead our lives. I read your posts and I can feel the love that surrounds you. Continued prayers…

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  18. AnonymousOctober 18, 2023 at 5:30 PM

    You are such a beautiful soul. My heart breaks for you, but I am inspired by your bravery.

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  19. AnonymousOctober 19, 2023 at 8:35 AM

    Thank you all for your kind words, thoughts and prayers. I hope you know that I appreciate you so much! In fact, on the rough days, I often come back to the blog and read everyone’s posts again. The encouragement helps me so much in those moments! ❤️. Thank you!
    ~Kristi

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  20. The Peters PorchOctober 20, 2023 at 5:51 PM

    Oh Kristi…YOU are such an inspiration. Your ability to stay positive and find JOY in all circumstances is amazing. I love you so much and will continue to pray for you and Jim and your beautiful family. Your friendship is such a treasure and its a blessing to be your friend.

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousOctober 22, 2023 at 2:04 PM

    My prayers are with you and Jim.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Karen ElliottFebruary 21, 2024 at 10:22 AM

    🙏❤️

    ReplyDelete

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