Laugh at the Craziness

We weren’t planning an update until after chemo got started, but today and the last week has been, well, pretty shitty (forgive the language, but we need to be real). The good news is, the shittiness gave way to some cathartic laughter on our way to Stanford this evening. Maybe it won’t be so funny to you,  but we’re in the car for a few hours … we decided to share. 

Let me set the scene. Since we found out for certain that chemo was the next step we have been full steam ahead. Time is not in my favor so I’ve been proactively getting things moving. The insurance snafu set us back a week and didn’t allow us to be able to get my port put in in Fresno. That’s why we’re headed to Stanford this evening so I can get it done in the morning.

The second part, of course, is getting my chemo ordered and set up to be done in Fresno. My Fresno oncologist, who happens to be a brand new doctor for me, because my last one retired, required me to come in for a consultation before they can order the chemo. I got that set up for early this morning before work… But I got to meet the nurse practitioner instead. Everything was going along pretty well… until …

Towards the end of our talk she says, “ OK so you’re going to see the doctor on the 13th and then he can schedule your chemo.”

I said, “No I’m not. I’m here at the butt crack of dawn on Monday so he can order it now.”

“But he can’t put the orders in until HE meets with you.”

“I came here to meet HIM. We aren’t waiting.”

At this point, while I’m telling Jim the story, he starts laughing uncontrollably.  He says, “I can totally picture your face and tone of voice.  I mean there wasn’t fire coming out of your eyes literally, but I’m sure she knew you weren’t playing.”

Oh, she in fact knew I meant business. And believe me, I didn’t yell or get upset, but she knew I meant business. 

😳 She then said, “Let me call the doctor. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”  When she returned she entered the room and let me know that, “He’s putting the orders in this morning. We’ll get you scheduled as soon as possible.”

After that was squared away, this lovely woman, who I’m sure has a heart of gold, and means well, sat down and said, in a sickeningly sweet voice, “So, how are you really doing?”  😊

In my head: [Holy crap lady!  We just met and you want me to pour my heart out to you!?  I know you mean well, but, no!  I’m pissed!]

“Sometimes I’m ok, but today, not so much.”

After a few tears and some very well-meaning consoling she says, “Oh, by the way, you’ll need to come in for pre-chemo education.”

In my head:  [You mean you want me to teach the class, right!? Look, I realize you have a standard protocol to follow. But I ain’t no doe-eyed nubie when it comes to chemo.  I’m sure if I wanted to I could do it while smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer, all the while standing on my head.  I’m darn sure all the other chemo patients will be lined up for my autograph on infusion days, so hire some extra security and make sure to keep the paparazzi at bay!!!]  😤

Out loud, with one eye closed and just the right amount of consternation on my face … “What? “You don’t mean before I start? 🤨

😳 “Uh … no, you can do it after you get get started.”

“Thank you.” 😁

Lessons of the day:

Advocate for yourself all the way. Nobody else knows what you as well as you. 

It’s OK to be polite and stern at the same time. 

Standard protocol is standard, it’s not for everybody. 

When it’s all said and done… find the funny stuff to laugh about.  It helps a lot.